is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
