last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
