but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
