The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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