census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize