rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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