im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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