I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize