Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
