so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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