You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
