Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
