If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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