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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"

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• (386): View more from Florida

  The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.

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