I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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