If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't trust your balls anymore.