put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
