I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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