Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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