But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
