I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize