Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
