I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
