yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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