I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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