oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
