What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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