you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Terrible idea I love it
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize