will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
