Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
