you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
