mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
