She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
God I need to hump something, right now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize