Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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