i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
