She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
