Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
