i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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