Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
