yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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