Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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