At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
