i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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