Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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