We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
