everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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