Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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