So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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