I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize