ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
