He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
