i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize