Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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