no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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