We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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