D3 body, D1 cock
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
