How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
