Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
