I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
