I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
