I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize