I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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