all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
