took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
