I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
